Bengaluru, India – After tying the knot, Nidhi Agarwal and her partner made a firm decision not to have children. Nearly a decade later, they stand by that choice.
“We didn’t talk about kids before marriage; we focused on money and our careers,” said the 41-year-old public relations entrepreneur based in Bengaluru. “Once married, we did discuss it and agreed that our priority was to grow our careers and create companies that could make a difference, rather than raise children.”
This decision wasn’t easy for Agarwal. “There was pressure from my family, especially since my sister isn’t married. But we kept our choice personal, believing we had broader life ambitions.”
Agarwal isn’t alone. In India, many young couples are choosing to have fewer or no children at all, despite the country’s long history of rapid population growth.
Recent government data from the Sample Registration System reveals that India’s birthrate is on the decline. The total fertility rate (TFR) has decreased to 1.9 children per woman, below the 2.1 mark needed to keep the population stable. Just two decades ago, this rate was around 3.3 births per woman.
Experts attribute this trend to better access to education and contraception, as well as the rising cost of raising children.
Career Choices and Societal Change
Dr. Jyotsna Mirlay, a consultant gynecologist in Bengaluru, notes that today’s educated young women are less inclined to embrace traditional views about marriage and motherhood. “Women now have more power and freedom due to education, allowing them to make choices about children based on their goals.”
Couples seeking medical advice about having children often weigh their professional success against the desire for kids, according to Mirlay. “They ponder whether children will enrich their lives or just meet societal expectations.”
Shweta Luthra, a 41-year-old human rights lawyer in Bengaluru, reflects on her own journey. When she married at 23, having children was not a priority for her. “I wanted to focus on my career, further my studies, and travel. My partner wanted kids, but we weren’t financially prepared.”
After moving to the U.K. to complete her Ph.D., she unexpectedly became pregnant. “I tell my son he was a total surprise! But I chose to have him because it made my family happy, even if it wasn’t according to my original plan.”
Luthra believes there is an ideal moment for having kids, often dictated by career milestones. “You can either have children early and then focus on your career, or you wait until you’re established in your job, allowing you to balance both.”
With many women focusing on their careers, options like egg freezing have gained popularity. Maria*, a 38-year-old freelance makeup artist in Bengaluru, shares that friends of hers appreciate the freedom that egg freezing provides, allowing them to delay motherhood without compromising their careers.
Cost of Living Concerns
The high cost of living in India also weighs heavily on family planning decisions. With inflation impacting daily expenses, many young adults find themselves prioritizing financial stability before considering children.
Roopa, a 36-year-old team leader in electronics, expresses concern over finances when thinking about having kids. Coming from a background where her mother worked hard as a single parent, she emphasizes her desire to ensure a good quality of life for her future children.
Luthra observes that many in her generation prefer experiences over starting families, choosing to spend their money on travel or dining out instead.
Among the concerning statistics, India has seen a slight decrease in infant mortality, but as lives are saved, some people are opting for fewer children. The latest survey shows that states with lower education and higher infant mortality rates, like Bihar, still have higher fertility rates compared to more educated regions like New Delhi.
Empowering Women with Options
For many couples, the decision to have children ultimately comes down to the resources available to women. Better access to contraceptives allows for more informed family planning decisions.
Dr. Mirlay also notes that social structures in India can impact decisions about starting a family. Younger couples often rely on parents for help with child-rearing. If they wait until they’re older to have kids, that support may not be available, making childcare problematic.
Workplace policies also matter. In India, working mothers are entitled to paid maternity leave, but provisions for paternity leave can vary widely by employer. Such disparities can make family planning more challenging.
Rising infertility rates add another layer of complexity. While the number of infertility clinics is growing, expensive treatments deter many couples from pursuing options to conceive.
Government Initiatives
Though the Indian government hasn’t introduced a nationwide policy to address declining birth rates, some states are trying to boost childbirth numbers. For example, Andhra Pradesh offers financial incentives to couples having more children.
Experts argue the government should explore the deeper reasons behind family planning choices rather than just pushing for higher birth rates. Dr. Mirlay suggests that understanding the challenges couples face could lead to better solutions.
For Agarwal, societal acceptance is crucial. Despite the pressures she faces, she advocates for personal choice in reproduction. “I still encounter judgment when I mention our decision not to have children. Society needs to respect individuals’ choices, even if they don’t align with traditional expectations.”
