Study Reveals Decline in Physical Intimacy Among Married Couples
Recent research indicates that many married couples in the U.S. are experiencing a drop in physical intimacy. A study conducted by the General Social Survey at NORC, University of Chicago, found that 32.5% of married adults reported not having any sexual activity in the past year. In contrast, only 4.1% said they have sex more than three times a week.
Dr. Anna Elton, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Massachusetts, explained that while sexual frequency differs among couples, the average is about once a week. She describes a “sexless marriage” as one where couples engage in intimate relations 10 times or fewer each year.
Reasons Behind the Decline
There are various reasons couples may experience a decrease in intimacy. Dr. Elton noted that busy family lives and hormonal changes could contribute to this decline. However, often, it comes down to the initial excitement of the relationship fading over time.
To help rejuvenate relationships, Dr. Elton shared some useful tips.
1. Focus on the Positive
For couples facing intimacy challenges, she suggests starting by recognizing what is working well in the relationship. If there are too many resentments, it creates a barrier to intimacy. “You need to build an emotional connection,” she said.
Dr. Elton recommends setting aside a week to intentionally focus on the positive aspects of the relationship. Partners should make notes and share these with one another to help shift the overall dynamics of their relationship.
“It’s important to steer clear of negative or neutral conversations to let intimacy grow,” she emphasized.
2. Reintroduce the Fun
According to Dr. Elton’s experience, many couples lose the fun element in their relationship over time. She poses the question, “What happened to the fun?” and encourages couples to find joy together again.
She suggested a fun idea called “A-to-Z date nights,” where partners select activities corresponding to each letter of the alphabet for their dates. For instance, “A” could stand for axe-throwing or art galleries, while “B” could be bowling or a beach day.
“My favorite is ‘M’ for movie and massage,” Dr. Elton said. “These activities not only reignite connection but also bring in novelty, which can enhance desire in couples.”
3. Flirt and Connect
Flirting is another aspect that tends to fade in long-term relationships. Dr. Elton encourages couples to rediscover how to flirt and express their romantic intentions to one another.
“Create a new way to flirt; small gestures can reignite sparks,” she advised. Simple acts such as hugging for 20 seconds or sharing a six-second kiss can increase oxytocin levels, which fosters closeness.
Aging and body image can make intimacy complicated, especially for women, as noted by Dr. Elton. “Sometimes if we aren’t feeling our best, it can be hard to understand why our partners want us,” she said.
Engaging in self-care can help individuals feel more connected with themselves, further enhancing their relationships.
Overall, Dr. Elton emphasizes that for couples looking to improve physical intimacy, it’s crucial to spend quality time together, and find joy and connection in their shared experiences.
